


Daddy!Levi x Mommy!Reader: Our Suicidal Bastard

by SmexyLeviLover



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Reincarnation, child!Eren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-14
Updated: 2015-05-14
Packaged: 2018-03-30 12:40:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3937144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmexyLeviLover/pseuds/SmexyLeviLover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You and Levi have been reincarnated into the real world. Unable to bear children, you and Levi agree to adopt. The child bears a striking resemblance to Eren and...</p><p>...hilarity ensues. :)</p><p>Romance, Comedy, Oneshot AU! </p><p>//note: Lovely Remedy will hopefully be updated today or by next week Wednesdayish! Sorry for the delay. Exams until May 20th. :/</p>
            </blockquote>





	Daddy!Levi x Mommy!Reader: Our Suicidal Bastard

//warning: it's been awhile since i've written comedy lol  
///double warning from kissu, this needed some renovation. 

The pads of your fingers massaged short, black strands of hair between their tips as your partner lightly groaned and buried his head deeper into your neck. His hot, steamy breath fell across the valley of your breasts, heating the parts of your body that lacked the warmth of the thick comforter. With the palm of one hand gently pressed against his shoulder blade, you followed his breathing pattern.

He was still awake, perhaps. 

"Hey, Levi," you whispered softly, testing your suspicions. 

He grunted in response. Awake but barely, you determined. You wouldn't blame him if he wasn't alert enough to answer or even process your next question. 

"Do you regret marrying me?"

Silence followed save for the rustling of the bed sheets with each rise and fall of his chest. At this point, it seemed as if you should give up the thought and ask another day, but you had hope that maybe your comforter-stealing husband could spare a few minutes of snoring for you. 

You waited and then felt Levi enter a slow, rhythmic breathing pattern, one that indicated that he was most likely fast asleep. Sighing, your restless mind finally settled on casting your question aside for another day. You relaxed into his body, your eyelids falling like weights as you welcomed sleep. 

.

.

.

"Why do you ask?"

So he _was_ still awake. Levi shifted away from you, a hand still encircling your waist but his face far enough for him to study your eyes. 

"Well..," you began hesitantly, teeth grazing your lip. This wasn't exactly the lightest subject, and surely not one to discuss so late, but you had to ask. "I'm not able to have kids..." Your voice drifted into the night, replaced with uncertainty and discomfort that was apparent to your husband. 

His eyes opened ever so slightly more than usual as he whispered your name and cupped your cheek, his thumb rubbing circles into your jaw. "_____… I know I might not be able to understand how this makes you feel as a woman, but for me, compared to the pain of losing our comrades every day, or the fears I used to have about losing you on every mission, not being able to raise a child of our own blood is nothing. I'd give up anything to live peacefully with you."

Levi gently claimed your lips in a chaste kiss, and you smiled as your noses brushed against each other.  

"I suppose every day is a peaceful one compared to the world we lived in before. That's something to be thankful for."

"Mhm," he responded lazily, resuming his former position as he nuzzled into your shoulder. Sleep was washing over your husband like high tide, and you couldn't help but chuckle to yourself. 

Compared to the Captain you knew in the Survey Corps, the Levi of this new life was quite childish. He didn't need to put up a tough act for the soldiers who once relied on him as humanity's strongest. In this world, he was a mere human and regarded as such… Although some would beg to differ with how strict he was when handling his employees. 

"Do you hate kids?" you whispered, breaking the newfound silence once more. Your fingers thread through the tangles in an attempt to sort out his bed hair. 

"Only temperamental idiots like Eren," he muttered. His voice ran like beads over your skin, tickling every inch it touched. It was a feeling you would have never felt in your previous life, a life filled with titans and expeditions. Blood and death scarred your memories of the past, but when you found Levi in this new life, a promise was made to live forever in happiness. 

And it was a promise you both kept. His ticklish voice initiated an eruption of giggles, followed by a long groan from Levi who pulled you into a tight hold. You wondered when or if you would see Eren and the other Survey Corps members reincarnated in this new life. 

"In that case, what about adoption?" you suddenly asked. 

His muffled voice breathed into your chest. "Do you want to be a mother that much?"

"I do. Wouldn't you want to see me as a mother?"

Levi's rib cage pressed into yours, and he released a deep sigh, one of love as he dug deeper into your soft skin, as if trying to meld you closer together than you already were. "I want to see you happy, so yeah, why not?"

A grin spread wide across your face, and you squealed, pulling Levi in for a small goodnight kiss. Within moments after, your husband seemed as if he was fast asleep, a light snore rubbing against your neck. Though quite a struggle, you let this new elation wash through your features as you finally settled back in his arms, following suit as your eyes closed and your breathing deepened. 

Once you were deep in slumber, Levi peaked an eye open, just to catch the remnants of a smile on your lips. He was a man who made his choices with no regrets, and your happiness was surely a decision he wouldn't regret...

Hopefully. 

\---------

"You know, his hair and eyes really remind me of Eren!" You cooed joyfully, as your fingertips brushed against the fuzzy lining that was the baby’s fresh, linen hair. He was currently sleeping soundly in his new baby crib, one designed by your close friend Mike. 

"Seriously?" Levi looked at you deadpan, then looked back at the sleeping child. He was too cute to carry the same name as a blathering idiot. "We're going to name our child after Jaeger? We'd might as well call him Suicidal Bastard." 

That earned a laugh out of you. 

"Well, the adoption clinic said that he wasn't born with a given birth name, and Eren is a much better name than Levi junior," you offered with a small shrug. 

"Ugh," your husband groaned dramatically. You clearly had no idea how set he had been on having another "Levi" in the household, but since adoption was your idea, he'd let you win him over this time. "Fine."

A soft yawn brought both your and Levi's attention back to the small darling in the crib. He stared up, gurgling at his new parents. Levi glared in return in his own awkward way of expressing love. 

"I have a bad feeling about this."

\---------

"Eren, say 'Mommy!'" you demanded. 

Levi "tched" from the dining table as you tried to ensure that Eren would call your name as his first word. You were really trying your hardest to turn him into a Momma's boy. 

"It's not really that important," he scoffed as he walked towards you both in the living room. 

"Liar." A smirk played on your lips. "I saw you teaching Eren how to say Daddy yesterday."

"Whatever." Levi sighed, but before you could retort, you both caught onto a small voice.

"Ah--"

"OH MY GOSH!" you nearly yelled, grabbing Levi’s arm as if this was the most important moment in the world. "LEVI, HE'S SAYING SOMETHING! GRAB A CAMCORDER OR YOUR PHONE OR SOMETHING!"

But the skillful hands of your husband had already produced a phone, the recorder button pressed firmly to capture this special moment. Silence enveloped the room as you both awaited to hear Eren's first word. Mommy or Daddy, which would it be? 

Finally, Eren opened his mouth and uttered in a strong voice,

"--APTAIN!"

.

.

.

You turned to Levi. "...captain?"

Levi was just as confused as you were until it finally hit him.

"Oh mother fucking wall of Maria."

\----------

"Of all the brats we could have adopted, why couldn't we get Mikasa or Armin?" Levi muttered. He was folding laundry while you played with Eren on the couch. 

"Because apparently, they ended up with Erwin and Hanji," you answered with a laugh. Levi liked to act forever pissed that he had to raise Eren, but you knew that secretly, just like you, he absolutely loved the brat.

"Kill all titans!" a small voice rang out. You looked down to see toothless Eren biting his hand. 

"Should we call the exorcist before he starts climbing on the walls?" Levi said sardonically. 

"Stop joking," you scolded. "We might have to get him a muzzle at this point." You gently took Eren's hand out of his mouth and replaced it with a pacifier. 

"God, I can't imagine what it'll be like to take him in public."

\----------

"Hi Mrs. Ackerman, I have a few complaints about your child."

Yet again, you received a call from Eren's day care center. You wondered what he could have done this time. 

"Your child tried to escape from the play pen again," she said, though that honestly wasn't anything new. "I think he has a obsession with being confined or having small walls around him. Maybe claustrophobia?"

"Yeah...I'm hoping he'll grow out of it maybe," you joked. Oh, if only she knew about walls and basements and mysterious keys. 

"Yes, I hope so as well. He seems to like to climb over them and pretend to 'explore the outside world.' I wonder why."

"Uhh." You struggled to find any explanation for Eren's current behavior, but obviously you couldn't out-right say, "Oh, well, you see, in our past lives, there were titans who broke through walls and then Eren was a titan who fixed up the walls and--." 

None of that was going to work of course so you offered up your best response. "We can get him checked out at a friend's clinic?" You offered.

"Please do. Urgently. Today, he started scaring his classmates. He called them 'pigs in a pen' and then proceeded to declare that he was the hunter and they were the prey. I think he has an obsession with livestock as well. Did you take him to the zoo by any chance?"

"Uh..."

"Oh, and he kept saying all of this in German! Sie sind das Essen und Wir sind die Jäger, is what he said! I was actually very impressed. Is your husband German?"

"Uh, haha. Something like that..." you laughed weakly. 

Oh boy.

\-----------

"Are you gonna kill yourself on this?" 

Levi crossed his arms and tapped his foot as Eren boarded his new mini bike. 

"No," his son answered with a dangerous smile that made Levi raise an eyebrow. He chose to ignore it. 

"Okay. Then let's do this." 

Levi pressed on the ignition to turn the bike on, and Eren shot off, getting high on speed as the bike raced fast through the grass of their front yard. 

"KILL ALL TITANS!" he yelled as he rode in figure eights. In truth, it actually drove Levi crazy to see his level cut grass destroyed by the bike tracks, but at least this kept Eren preoccupied. 

Unfortunately however, Eren spotted their neighbor's kid, Reiner. 

"THE ARMORED TITAN!" Eren yelled as he gained speed and rushed towards the front gate. 

"Eren, I swear if you don't stop---!" Levi tried to yell out but Eren interrupted him.

"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, POPS. IF YOU DON'T FIGHT, YOU CAN'T WIN!" Eren yelled with his eyes set on the tiny, blonde target. His small hands gripped the handles as he revved the engine and pushed forward at top speed. 

Levi wasn't entirely sure what possessed his child to think he could somehow jump the fence without a ramp, but obviously, it didn't fucking happen, and the crash resonated throughout the neighborhood. 

Levi groaned as he approached the mess. 

"You are so full of shit."

\------------

"I ate all your Halloween candy, Eren," you said in a sweet, apologetic voice. You wanted to tease your poor son, but it turns out you raised him better than you expected. 

"It's okay, squad leader. I love you. I want you to be happy. Just tell me next time," Eren replied with a soft smile, using his unique nickname in replace of ‘mommy.’ You wanted to cuddle him tightly because he was always turning your motherly heart into mush. What a cute child. Eren went back to playing with his dinosaurs when Levi suddenly butt in. 

"I ate half of it too," he admitted. 

Eren placed his dinosaurs down and glared at his father. "Go die already, shitty old bastard."

Levi's mouth dropped, and he turned to you.

"Where did he pick that up from?!"

"I wonder..." you smirked. 

\------------

It was the middle of the night, with thunder sounding outside. It was nights like these when you were reminded of your past life. 

"I'm worried that Eren will remember the past too early. The images of titans are too scary for a child, and he’s already halfway on his way to understanding what he’s saying when screaming about killing them," you whispered to your husband. 

Suddenly, another loud thunderclap sounded from outside, as your bedroom door creaked open to reveal a sniffling Eren. 

"Eren, what's wrong?" you said worriedly as you rushed out of bed to pick him up. Levi was quickly by your side, stroking Eren's hair as your son hugged you tightly. 

"I...I saw 'Captain' a-and 'Squad Leader' get eaten by titans!" he sobbed into your shoulder, using his special names to describe the both of you once again. You shushed him gently, petting his back, and when that didn't work, Levi offered to take him in his arms instead. Eren held onto his father's shirt as Levi sat them both down on the bed. 

"We don't live in a world with titans anymore," Levi reassured his son quietly. 

Eren's warm, tear-stricken face hiccuped into his shoulder. For the first time, Levi felt a special pang in his heart, a pang that symbolized the fear of losing his child to the chains of the past. He held Eren tightly, as if to pull him back to the world that the both of them lived in now. "It's a different world, Eren. A beautiful world that lacks the cruel nature of titans and the king. We won't leave you again."

_We'll protect you properly this time._

\------------

"Where did we go wrong?" Levi mused.

"More like, where did we go right?" you giggled right back. 

Levi, on the other hand, was not amused. "Of all people, he's dating Kirstein? It's a mule and a suicidal bastard together! How do they even connect?"

"So you never noticed in the Corps?" you teased. "Levi, they have decades of sexual tension between them."

"TMI, [Name]. There are some things that fathers just don't want to know."

"Ah," you smiled, "but that’s why a mother knows everything."

\---------------------------------------------------------  
END OF SMEXYNESS

AND THANKS SO MUCH TO KISSMEYOUFOOLFANFICT SHE’S BAE GO WATCH HER. I LOVE HER SHES SO COOL OMG!!! :)

//pssst i didn't write that. kissu did.

Nah, but really, this fanfic would have been (more) shitty without kissu's help haha. XD Thank you, and I love you. 

Anddddd HAPPY BIRTHDAY MISSFIC! :)


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